genocidercyo: clockey: you’re the window to my wall you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
dionthesocialist: Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
jolivet: simon-the-jewish-vampire: snarkreactors: I had my hands full but I needed to turn on my light so I just used my mouth and flicked the switch up with my tongue and then I realized uh oh WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES?! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! THIS IS THE BEST
watchtheskytonight: ryannxp: irisowl: So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized Dr. Robert Evans I looked it up My dentist is Captain America’s dad omfg kEEP HIM
somecallme-roman: Xo from brooklyn
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
supermegafoxyawesomehotnot: teruteruhanamura: im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT LORD FUCKWAD HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST SAY IT WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT
rastafarianmonk: staindnovocaine: sex-like-a-nympho: landofloveandlies: inbox: don’t do drugs. do me do drugs and me. do drugs with me. and then do me. do drugs while you do me. i support the evolution of this post